Totally Fucking Gay

by Totally Fucking Gay

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Totally Fucking Gay was formed in 2003 by vocalist Kneepad Nikki. Nikki explains, ‘I needed an outlet to express my admiration for the extreme side of gay culture. I wanted to create an old school John Waters movie in sonic form.’ Nikki mixed his love of underground music, pop music and taking dicks in his ass to create an electro-grind Village People for the 21st century. Nikki recorded multiple albums with his ex-lover, P. Nizlicka. The albums were never officially released. Nikki states, ‘P. Nizlicka was a great creative collaborator; and his abs were fantastic. I still get erect thinking about them/him. However, he made a lot of money and started voting Republican. That ended our relationship-both personal and professional.’

Luckily for Nikki, he rebounded with producer and multi-instrumentalist, Doc Octocock. Doc explains their first meeting, ‘Nikki visited my studio when I was producing a gangster rap project which shall remain nameless. Let’s just say that some very well known gangbangers are also assbangers. Anyway, Nikki had a lot of song ideas and I offered to let him record at Octocock Audio.’ These new TFG albums were musically and sonically more advanced than their primitive predecessors. The albums were never officially released. Nikki states, ‘I had a ton of material but I had no idea what to do with it. Doc suggested that we start a record label together. I knew nothing of the homocore scene-and I didn’t think there was an audience for weird music with funny, offensive pro-gay lyrics. Ultimately, I balked at the label idea due to lack of money and health problems.’ Nikki, whose birth name is Mike Hymson, suffers from chronic lyme disease. When he’s not creating music, he’s bouncing from doctor to doctor in hopes that some day he will regain his health.

The missing piece of the puzzle showed up in the form of Joe Testículo. ‘Joe walked into a laundromat near my house one night,’ says Nikki; ‘He was wearing a tank top and daisy dukes. He walked right up to the first washing machine and got undressed. It was about 9 p.m. and this place was far from empty. He put his clothes in the machine and sat down butt naked while they were washed and dried. He was very quiet and completely focused on his phone. I could tell he was on Grindr so I didn’t bother him. When his clothes were ready he quickly dressed and left. I chased him out into the parking lot and asked him to play lead guitar on my new album.’

Kneepad Nikki, Doc Octocock and Joe Testículo created TFG’s self titled album during the summer of 2015. Dicks were sucked, bagels were eaten and hits were created. The lead single, ‘Marathon Gay Sex For Manly Men’ was recorded first; followed by 9 other homoerotic hymns. Once the album was completed, the three formed Third Input Records as a way to release TFG’s self titled album; as well as the entire TFG back catalog. Joe explains, ‘I saw potential audiences for TFG that Nikki was unable to see; queercore, grindcore, electronic music, even Howard Stern fans. I also pointed out the similarities between TFG and the movie Bruno, which made millions of dollars for its studio and star. We’re not aiming that high; but the money coming in from downloads and streaming should cover our lube and condom bills for the year.’

Joe is also a friend of the controversial artist, Mike Diana, who created 3 different original pieces of art for the physical release of the album. Nikki admits that for him TFG is more than a musical project; it’s a philosophy of life; ‘TFG is a pop grindcore comedy project first and foremost. I want people to laugh out loud when they hear this shit. However, TFG’s secondary purpose is to be a homophobes worst nightmare. We’re like the NWA of homosexuality. We take all the things that conservatives fear about gay culture-and instead of downplaying them for societal approval; we amplify them beyond caricature. Then we shove them right up their ass.’



released April 15, 2016

Kneepad Nikki -voice, keys, dirty knees
Doc Octocock - guitars, keyboards, production, assplay
Joe Testículo - lead guitars, penis slide



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Totally Fucking Gay New York, New York

Kneepad Nikki, Doc Octocock and Joe Testículo created TFG’s self titled album during the summer of 2015. Dicks were sucked, bagels were eaten and hits were created. #metal #comedy #grindcore #electro #rock

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Track Name: marathon gay sex for manly men
marathon gay sex for manly men

i enjoy the homo fantasies
i need a guy who turns me on
a dick that is down to his knees
if you are offering then yes please
buy him a drink at the gay bar
in the hotel its time to strip
when he bends over i am ready
and this will not be just the tip
plowing peter with sexual prowess
in and out time after time
his butthole is hot and enticing
soon i spray my sticky man slime
peter and i talk about life
the truth is we have both been around
he tells me that his current lover
lives close by in the next town
peter and i visit his lover
he was hot it was worth the trip
soon his lover does bend me over
and this will not be just the tip
he was rough and he was girthy
we were fucking until 4:30
that time is in the early am
marathon gay sex for manly men
Track Name: come out of the closet (and cum in my ass)
come out of the closet (and cum in my ass)

i know that you have a secret
you dont want to tell your dad
he is a guy from the military
he is loud and drunk and mad
your dad goes to church as well
so he thinks homos go to hell
you are scared of his bad temper
he might punch a wall or yell
let me give you some motivation
and it is not credit or cash
once you come out of the closet
you can cum right in my ass
make it your new years resolution
do it during the holiday season
tell your whole family on christmas
now you have a very good reason
i know your life is complicated
you want to be loved not hated
and your father has a closed mind
but i have an open behind
i can help you with your speech
you know you are in a rut
stuck in this bad family drama
you should be stuck in my butt
at first it might cause him pain
then your dad will scream and cry
but after a year he will accept it
and you no longer have to lie
Track Name: just another day in the life of a gay
just another day in the life of a gay

wake up at 8 and i feel great
i got a blow job from a dude
i cum and he swallows it down
anything else would just be rude
i make him a healthy breakfast
and then i hop in the shower
put on a suit and go to work
i am a man of money and power
after lunch i go to the gym
a young stud is in the shower
i undress and then fuck him
longer strokes for maximum power
just another day in the life of a gay
do i want to be straight no way
yes this workout makes us sweaty
and soon we get each other off
after the sex i take a piss
he says hi by the way im chris
i say hi chris nice to meet you
i like older and younger men
chris says im here monday and wednesday
but i dont get in until 10
go back to work for more hours
dinner and then out to a club
i meet a dude and his man
they suggest 3 guys in a tub
back at their place after midnight
we get naked and have a bath
then i pound them one at a time
splitting their sphincters right in half
just another day in the life of a gay
do i want to be straight no way
Track Name: husband and husband
husband and husband

time for me and jim to get married
it is legal in several states
so we both rent matching tuxedos
and the truth is we look great
we invite family and friends
and some dudes we used to bang
we invite some queer drug dealers
and some bears from a biker gang
we include all different types
we are not like christianity
to exclude based on sexuality
that really seems like insanity
then we go to the big ceremony
and some guy says the official things
we kiss and then it is legal
we exchange gold cock rings
and now its off to the big party
we eat food and we also dance
we smoke weed and shirts come off
after that we remove our pants
dancing naked is not even dirty
its a way for us to be free
my new husband says oh baby
i know he wants to fuck me
then we go out to the limo
its our party but we are discreet
weve been fucking for over 3 years
a perfect wedding with no cold feet
Track Name: we don't need society's approval
we don't need society's approval

i like cock and so does he
he likes balls and i do too
we enjoy each others rectums
what is society going to do
first society comes up with shame
they want us to be hetero
they claim that diversity is lame
but we scream at them hell no
society tries to limit people
stop fucking and go to work
be productive dont have fun
do not call your boss a jerk
gays are free like you and me
but the old guard is losing power
and conservatism is growing weak
gay dudes like different sexual partners
at least 5 or 6 times a week
sex is not for making babies
sex is for dudes shooting loads
old white men who are anti gay
most of them really look like toads
gays are free like you and me
we fuck in front of the courthouse
and we fuck in front of church
we fuck in restaurants at the mall
repressive restrictions all must fall
guys and guys are going to fuck
dudes and dudes are going to kiss
homos have been around forever
time for the world to accept this
Track Name: it's time to gargle with salty semen
its time to gargle with salty semen

i wake up and brush my teeth
after that i use mouth wash
i am neither angel nor demon
its time to gargle with salty semen
i walk in to the bedroom
the decorations are tastefully done
my life partner is a wedding planner
30 years old but he looks young
so i wake him up with a blowjob
it is better than toast and tea
once my mouth makes him explode
then this sexy man will thank me
suck and stroke stroke and suck
then my finger goes up his ass
he screams as he lets it go
into my throat his sperm does flow
first i gargle then i swallow
this is an every day morning ritual
men know how to please other men
my name is greg and his is ken
ken is catholic and i am jewish
we adopted a boy from korea
he is a buddhist and a vegan
fast food will give him diarrhea
that young boy he has 2 dads
we are a family it is true
those 2 dads are sexual beings
we love to kiss and suck and screw
Track Name: let's buy a man purse at the mall
lets buy a man purse at the mall

sexual rebellion is normal and healthy
exploration is exciting and good
maybe a dude should kiss a dude
just to see if he gets wood
football teams and soccer teams
they play games and try to win
shower together and sometimes hug
then throw tradition in the garbage bin
college roommates live in a dorm
college roommates jerk off to porn
and just because they stroke each other
does not officially make them lovers
homo dudes say try it all
lets buy a man purse at the mall
dudes in the military or jail
they will fuck each other eventually
people isolated still get horny
time to attack each other sexually
you can be gay for a little while
and then maybe go back to chicks
but when in rome do as the romans
if hes a sexy man suck his dick
men and men and boys and boys
and those twinks are hot fuck toys
bend them over its time to blast
take it slow or youll cum too fast
Track Name: ambassador of ass
ambassador of ass

i said hola me llamo miguel
he said damn you are fine as hell
we had beans and we had rice
then we banged not once but twice
i like to learn about other cultures
learn about their music and food
i like a guy who can educate me
then its time for us to get nude
so i am an ambassador of sorts
i dont have any genital warts
at the doctor i had a check up
so homophobes should shut the fuck up
in the mood for a new vacation
go to a spanish speaking place
meet a dark dude with a mustache
he is going to sit on my face
this guy looks like freddy mercury
mixed with some antonio banderas
his eyes made my heart go flutter
i am a bagel and he is the butter
we have drinks and we have dinner
then we have penis for dessert
he bangs my ass hard and fast
tomorrow my butt will hurt
Track Name: you can evolve or become a dinosaur
you can evolve or become a dinosaur

i went out to a very fancy party
at that party i met a priest
he said excuse me are you a fag
i said hang on hold my bag
so the priest did hold my purse
i opened it and searched around
then i pulled out a black dildo
and the priest said oh god no
then i lit up a cigarette
this dildo was really a lighter
i told the priest that ive tried pussy
but a dudes ass is way tighter
the priest said i will pray for you
i said ok i am cool with that
i need all the help i can get
but i like cock not pussy thats wet
the priest said but you are a sinner
i said i just ate chicken dinner
i have a hot man on either coast
in my book that makes me a winner
i said listen what should i do
queers see me and want to screw
if they are sexy then i fuck them
i was just born attracted to men
i said you have a marketing problem
every year more people are accepting
you can evolve or become a dinosaur
excuse me im going to fuck al gore
Track Name: there's nothing wrong with some atm
theres nothing wrong with some atm

i stick my dick in his mouth
then i stick it in his ass
and back into his mouth again
he and i are really good friends
then he takes out his big prick
and in my mouth he does stick
in my tight ass it goes now
but back in my mouth really quick
theres nothing wrong with some atm
i am talking ass to mouth
do 3 enemas before lunch
preparation is always a must
do 3 enemas after dinner
a pink colon enhances lust
if both buttholes are clean and happy
then neither penis will taste crappy
men love men if they are queer
and also if they have good taste
ejaculate in a hot dudes mouth
watch him swallow testicle paste
this is a typical thursday night
we love sex but we dont do coke
i have sympathy for hetero men
their sex lives are a boring joke
as women age they look like hags
id rather hang out with sexy fags
if both buttholes are clean and happy
then neither penis will taste crappy